Dear God,
This has been the most difficult, painful, tearful, and loneliest year of my life.
But, God I want you to know that it hasn’t been all bad.
I know even though I was so angry at you, I know that you watched over me and that at times your son truly carried me because I could not and would not even lift my head through some of the darkest moments.
Thank you!
I have to Thank you for all I have even if at times I don’t feel its fair or enough.
I have always been your rebel child trying to question why and asking you to make my life better. I say I’m just strong willed and trying to make it through.
The biggest things I need to thank you for are the angels you blessed my life with. Two of which I would have never suspected I would have needed to make my life continue and be able to breathe. Thank you for blessing them in my life and for their health, strength, and courage. Thank you for giving them to me, I know you knew I needed them and they would be my rock to see me through.
But God, there is an angel who you blessed my life with; I never thanked you for. She took me in scared, beaten, and with little confidence in myself; I was so ashamed. She accepted me for who I was and did not ever judge me. She tried picking me up and ‘dusting me off’ to the woman she could see under the beaten down girl. She even watched my boundaries of trust and stood out looking in when I wouldn’t let her in. She knew just when to say the right thing and when to give me support. She gave me the tools not only to deal with a violent crime that could have destroyed my life but the tools to deal with a lifetime of abuse. She understood that it was not just about one or two big incidents, but a lifetime of learning. She carried me through dark moments. Her words at times would make me realize things instantly. There were times in my alone moments or in moments I felt I needed to defend myself that her words rang back true in my head.
Please God, forgive me for pushing her away at times and for thinking I did not need her. Thank you for sending her to ‘dust me off’ and for her showing me I had the courage the whole time. She helped me find a comfort zone to be able to sleep again and try to trust again.
I know her words are blessed by your hands each day. I can only imagine how difficult her job might be. Thank you for blessing her with the talent to listen, to say the right words of encouragement, and a true gift of not judging.
I pray that she will always be cared for. I pray that she will learn to comfort and care for herself so she can continue to comfort and save souls like mine.
I know she doesn’t think she is an angel but in my darkest moments she was the only light I could see. So I pray you do give her wings.
Thank you dear God for all the angels and blessings I can’t see.
Amen.
Your learning daughter…
Anonymous, Age 33
