Dear God,
Will I know some day why this all happened to me? Why do I feel like you are trying to punish me or why are you trying to teach me this lesson? What if I don’t want to learn why? God it hurts too much!
I’m glad I’m still here but I wish the pain would go away. I want this insecurity to go away too. I want the doubt to fade away. I want to believe there is good.
If it’s not my fault, why does it feel this way? Why do I feel I don’t deserve the best? Why do I feel like I can’t be happy? I want to be happy. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
God, it’s hard to find courage everyday. I face a life that wants better, and deserves better. Whys did I marry that asshole? He promised that he would always be there. How could he make a mess and walk away the way he did? I’m not sad we are not together, because I know I deserve better than I know he could ever be. I just wish that it could have ended another way. I wish, I could have my best friend from long ago.
Will he ever know how great his children are or how much love they can give? Will he ever know how much he missed out on?
Will he ever know how great of a woman I am or can be? I am stronger than I thought I could ever be. He will never break me! I refuse to let him. My heart is bigger than the sky!
I love my children more than I could ever say. I can sacrifice to make them happy.
Please God, open up my heart to a new world of happiness and let me walk in without being scared. I want to see my way through.
I know I can’t make it through on my own, I need your help. I know I need others to help me too. Sometime, I need a little light or someone to hold my hand to be able to see my way through.
Please God, please help me.
Anonymous, Age 33
