He took the gun to the bedroom where their two boys had been sleeping. She doesn’t know everything he said to them, but he did tell them to close their eyes before he shot them, then himself. He died sprawled over his sons.
Their 8-year-old boy died. Their three-year-old survived after dying and being brought to life on the operating table of the local hospital. He is physically damaged for life.
Domestic violence had lived in this family for years, causing numerous break-ups followed by get-togethers. A divorce was finally becoming a reality when he chose the gun as a solution. “I didn’t see it coming,” she says. They hadn’t owned a gun and she doesn’t know where it came from.
She’d heard reports of him drinking in solitude in the local bar instead of hanging with his usual buddies. Friends said he was having a hard time.
It’s now been over a year. Mother and son cope. He gets professional help: physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy. They both see counselors.
Scars remain. The child asks for his brother, his father. While she wants to know more about the last few minutes of her firstborn’s life, she’s careful not to probe or push too hard on her youngest child’s memories. What should she do with the anger she feels towards her husband?
New life is growing inside her, bringing memories of her first pregnancy. She is in a stable relationship with a loving man. She says she doesn’t want to marry again. Determined to create a good life for her son, she endures, pushes ahead through sheer willpower. Scars from the bullets remain on her body and soul.
